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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

         40-ish                              -       49
         Adventurous                    -       Slept with everyone
         Athletic                            -       No tits
         Average looking               -       Ugly
         Beautiful                          -       Pathological liar
         Contagious Smile             -       Does a lot of pills
         Emotionally secure           -       On medication
         Feminist                           -       Fat
         Free spirit                        -       Junkie
         Friendship first                 -       Former very *friendly* person
         Fun                                  -       Annoying
         New Age                          -       Body hair in the wrong places
         Open-minded                   -       Desperate
         Outgoing                         -       Loud and Embarrassing
         Passionate                       -       Sloppy drunk
         Professional                    -       Bitch
         Voluptuous                      -       Very Fat
         Large frame                     -       Hugely Fat
         Wants Soul mate              -       Stalker


WOMEN'S ENGLISH

         1. Yes                                                         =       No
         2. No                                                          =       Yes
         3. Maybe                                                    =       No
         4. We need                                                 =       I want
         5. I am sorry                                                =       you'll be sorry
         6. We need to talk                                       =       you're in trouble
         7. Sure, go ahead                                        =       you better not
         8. Do what you want                                    =       you will pay for this later
         9. I am not upset                                         =       of course I am upset, you moron!
       10. You're very attentive tonight                         is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

         1. I am hungry                                                   =       I am hungry
         2. I am sleepy                                                   =       I am sleepy
         3. I am tired                                                       =       I am tired
         4. Nice dress                                                     =       Nice cleavage!
         5. I love you                                                      =       let's have sex now
         6. I am bored                                                    =       Do you want to have sex?
         7. May I have this dance?                                  =       I'd like to have sex with you
         8. Can I call you sometime?                               =       I'd like to have sex with you
         9. Do you want to go to a movie?                      =       I'd like to have sex with you
         10. Can I take you out to dinner?                        =       I'd like to have sex with you
         11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit            =       I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

Nota Jemari: siker-suker je pun... Tapi macam betul je kan.. *wink

1 comment:

Anaa said...

hikhik.. kelako.. akak tetap macam promo hot in cleveland tu, cynical about love, wildly optimistic, prone to injury and loves a good bargain.. hahah, itu untuk older woman macam akak jer ye ret..